The Five Worst Games Of The Decade
When it comes to art, there’s no one right answer to what is good or what is bad. And the same goes for video games. But, with that said, there are some games that work very hard to earn their place on our list of worst things. Games that ship with bugs, glitches, terrible stories, subpar art, crappy voice actin, and those tasty, tasty pay-to-win mechanics. These games hit our consoles in such a state that it almost seems like they want to feature in a top-five list of the worst games of the decade.
Being around for the dumpster fire that was the Fallout 76 launch was difficult for fans of Bethesda, but also for fans of the medium of video games, in general. 76 was a lot like watching a car pileup in slow motion. Bethesda turned the world’s favorite post-apocalyptic RPG into an online game, which was a contentious choice, to begin with because, let’s face it, nobody asked for that.
Riddled, to this day, with countless bugs, glitches, and other issues, the game got off to a rocky start in that way, already. Maybe things would have turned around (tons of games suffer from early release issues), but the release was dogged with further issues. From the nylon bags that shipped with collector’s editions of the game instead of canvas ones as advertised to the recent announcement that the game has now shifted to a subscription service, this was an almost comically bad game. Maybe one day, with enough patching and response from the design team, they can turn this around and someone will post a comment here calling me an old fuddy-duddy, but for right now this is a bad taste in the mouths of gamers around the world.
If you were alive in the 90s (I hate that I’ve started having to clear that up with people, but I guess everybody gets old eventually), there’s a chance you at least saw the box for PC video game, Dungeon Keeper. A tongue-in-cheek resource management game set in an evil dungeon, you played the titular dungeon keeper, commanding your hordes of minions to mine, expand, fight and protect your subterranean home. And it was great.
2014’s Dungeon Keeper mobile remake was not. Dungeon Keeper mobile was an outright cash grab, full of pay-to-win crap, extensive cooldown times, shallow content. This was a game that clearly wanted to frustrate players enough that they would spend money to win, but what it wasn’t counting on was that nobody would care. This game sucked, and it earned its place in my trash can.
Aliens Colonial Marines
This game stung, and production company, Gearbox, should still be at least a little embarrassed that they ever released it. Especially following the months of extremely strong previews ahead of its release date, the disappointment of what we actually got hurt even more.
Xenomorph-piss poor graphics, a shockingly lame narrative, and an AI that turned the titular alien into a spidery joke (seriously, just Google glitches from this game and get ready for an afternoon of the best videos you’ve ever seen) all made for a title that was a laugh a minute in all the wrong ways. Add to that the fact that one of the people who bought a copy of this game later found out that a simple typo in its AI had a lot to do with the problem, and this was a game drowning in unnecessary issues.
Rambo the videogame
How do you take Hollywood’s most famous action hero and make a game this lame about him? Because it doesn’t sound like it would be, right? But here we are. A video game with none of the hallmarks of most modern polished triple-A action titles (or even some of the most basic). This was, frustratingly enough, an on-rails shooter that moved ploddingly through the most famous scenes from the movies, without an original piece of action to be found.
Instead, we got QuickTime events, lame graphics, and a Sylvester Stallone that looks like chewed bubblegum rolled in soy sauce and thrown into an army surplus bargain bin. Dumb and disappointing.
Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5
Oh, Activision. Just let Tony Hawk die in a vert skating accident like God intended, not dragged through the muck every other year with the latest game to “reinvent” the winning formula. Because it never reinvents a Goddamned thing, does it? No, we just keep getting worse and worse Xeroxes of Tony Hawk’s one, without any of the fun or groundbreaking gameplay.
And I get it: the developers were on a tight deadline, so this is the project manager’s fault, but that doesn’t fix this buggy, unenthusiastic piece of nosegrind filth into a good game. What could have been a triumphant return to the franchise was just painful, with bugs, glitches and missing features aplenty. Imagine your boss dressing up as your favorite relative and telling you you’re doing a horrible job and they hate you. That’s what this was for the Tony Hawk franchise.
Worst Games Of The Decade
And there you have it: the worst games of the last decade, all brought together in one awesome list so you can relive them all over again! Join us again soon for our roundup of the games we’re looking forward to the least in 2020.